All the Feelings.....

I am heading to the airport in a few hours. The last time I was at the Manchester airport was almost 11 months ago. I am leaving here just a day shy of 11 months after I got here. I have been saying goodbye to people for a few weeks now, starting with the University students that come to church, I said goodbye to them in June, and then saying goodbye to two members of my YAGM cohort, Heath and Danielle, at the end of June, after our YAGM retreat at Seahouses in Northumberland. Also said goodbye to Matt, our country coordinator, and Fiona-Jane on that same day. Then saying goodbye to most of the rest of my YAGM cohort after we spent a weekend together in Edinburgh. Then saying goodbye to various people at church who wouldn't be around today, Wednesday evening I spent with my friend Jo, and then on Thursday, saying goodbye to the children and staff at St. John's school, where I have been working on Thursdays this year. Then on Saturday, said goodbye to the only member of my YAGM cohort who I had not yet said goodbye to in person yet, Grace. I wasn't sure I was going to get to say goodbye to her person, and if I hadn't missed my train to Stonehenge I would not have had the chance, so I guess sometimes things work out for the best. That was my hardest goodbye though. And then today, I had to say goodbye to the people at the church, and then one more goodbye in the morning when I get dropped off at the airport. I have this thing about proper goodbyes. I like closure. It's important to me. I'm not really sure where it stems from, but, it is what it is. 

The last few days, I have been thinking a lot. Like yesterday was the last time I would take a bus anywhere. Friday was the last time I would see a movie in a theater here. Today was the last time I would walk to church and walk home from church. Walking around in the center of Manchester the other day, I thought about the 9 hour adventure that Allison took Grace and I on in September. I thought about "Silent Travels with Grace." I thought about the retreats in Leeds, Cliff College, Wales, High Leigh, and Seahouses. I thought about Manchester Thanksgiving the Saturday right after Thanksgiving. I thought about New Year's weekend in London. I thought about Edinburgh. I thought about the night I went clubbing with some of my friends from church. I thought about knitting on retreats and at other times throughout the year. I thought about all the times I felt genuinely heard this year. I thought about the time I went to the zoo for my birthday and saw penguins and got screamed at by lemurs. All the times I made fun of Alan the Churchwarden. Learning how to navigate The Tube in London. Learning how to navigate trains. Living with my Nuns. Bonding with them, growing to love them. Visiting them in Derby (pronounced Darby) after they moved there. Dealing with literal ghosts, getting used to living alone, dealing with a loved one's illness from thousands of miles away, and voicing and wrestling with my own demons and hangups, and things. 

I've changed a bit this year, but I'm still mostly the same. I'll miss England, but I'm looking forward to seeing everyone in the States. This next phase of life will be interesting and unpredictable, so just go with it. Thanks for following the adventure.